Intimacy is a word that evokes mixed reactions. It is something we both long for and fear. On one hand, we want to experience closeness in relationships, to be appreciated, cherished and accepted for who we are in our deepest nature. On the other hand, we recognize that true intimacy involves becoming vulnerable, disclosing imperfections and weakness. We want others to feel free to open up to us without fear of judgment. This ongoing mutual self disclosure opens the door for potential hurt, misunderstanding or rejection. This is why many prefer to remain perfect strangers rather than risk relating on deeper levels.

Lasting relationships require that we take the responsibility for consistently communicating truth in love. This requires sensitivity and tact. The goal is never to keep a record of wrongs, or to bring another person's life into alignment with our own. The same passage of Scripture that reminds us to 'speak the truth in love' also reminds us that the 'truth is in Jesus' (Ephesians 4:21-25). Our goal is primarily to bring our lives into line with His so that we might relate to others with His love, encouraging integrity in all of our relationships.

Relational tensions need to be resolved at their earliest stages of development. Healthy relational bonding occurs only where relational integrity is practiced. Honest communication and genuine acts of kindness inspire the mutual trust and respect that solidify relationships.

Intimacy with God is something we were made for. He knows our shortcomings. He knows we are damaged goods and yet He has initiated an ongoing love relationship where He promises to be real with us. First, He demonstrates His love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). He provides for our forgiveness. Rather than reminding us of our failures (2Corinthians 5:19), He credits us with His righteousness (Romans 4:6-8). Seeing us as already perfected through His perfect work of redemption, He ministers to our imperfections.

Intimacy is something that Christ prayed that we would experience in our relationships with the redeemed (John 17: 14-26). It does not come automatically and it cannot be one-sided. It is the fruit of relational maturity. As infants, we start out believing that our mothers are a part of us and we control the world with our thoughts and feelings. We gradually discard this infantile view as we recognize the autonomy of others around us. In adolescence we come to grips with the distances between ourselves and others and in fear are tempted to herd (go with the crowd) or hide (go within). This process of individualization puts us on the road to seeking our proper place in the world with others. We want to be 'at home' with God, with ourselves, and with others.

Personal integration involves personal interaction. We learn to appreciate and cherish our differences and commonalties, so evident in the sexual intimacy of a husband and wife, but also in the appropriate intimacies of interacting with our deepest friendships, our faith community and with God. Our varieties come together in a community of oneness. This kind of oneness reflects the image and glory of God.

"...that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me." (John 17:21).

The key component to bringing forth this fruit of relational maturity is the indwelling Holy Spirit. Jesus said, "I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one." (John 17:22).