#5 - How Not to Sabotage a Relationship (Part 4)

(continued from last week)

9. PRACTICE RECONCILIATION AND FORGIVENESS.

In His original plan God never intended for anyone to have a broken heart. But we live in a fallen world where relationships are frail and vulnerable. Relationships are easily put out of joint.

There is a way to heal fractured relationships:

1.       The FIRST thing to do is to admit that there is a fracture . Put away all anger (emotional responses to perceived injustices) and reflect upon the reasons for the relational breakdown. Remember that relationships are as valuable as the people involved. Each person is valuable because they are made in the image of God and loved by Him.

2.       SECONDLY, own up to any contribution that you might have made to the rift. Keep the door of communication open. Confess your faults before God and the other person. Do not avoid confrontation. Repent - which means that you are willing to correct your position so that you are receptive to the revealed will of God.

In God's great plan of repair, Jesus Christ, His eternally begotten Son, was appointed to bind up the broken hearted (Isaiah 61:1). He came to earth to heal the very real relational rift between the human race and God by dealing with the root cause of our selfishness. He took our sinful nature to its deserved death on the Cross. He came to restore us to a relationship with the Father that is built upon love and trust. Jesus makes all of the attributes of the Father clear to us (John 14:9) and the Holy Spirit is able to minister that love to every believer in a personal way (Romans 5:5). When we are in a proper relationship with Christ, love deficits can be healed.

3.       THIRDLY, forgive . Instantly. Unconditionally. Forgive by agreeing with what God has already done in Christ. "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32) Whether or not the other person receives it is not of ultimate importance. What if they refuse to own up to their part in the rift? What if they do not change? Forgive anyway. You do not have to accept or approve of their behavior. But do not harbor resentment, lest you become defiled with bitterness.

Jesus forgave people before they ever cited their sins or even admitted they were sorry. Even in the parable of the prodigal son, Jesus said that the father embraced the returning boy before he had time to give his prepared repentance speech. On the cross where Jesus hung naked and bleeding before a world of betrayers, he said, "Father, forgive them. They know not what they do."

Only when we are secure in the love of God can we minister His healing love effectively to others. Freely we have received. Freely we must give love and forgiveness.