Jesus Christ, was to some, a difficult person. A perfect person, but difficult nonetheless. When the wedding celebration Jesus attended at Cana was in danger of becoming a social disaster, His mother gave him a nudge: "They have no wine" . (The male interpretation of this statement from the ancient 'Womanese' language means: "Do something about it.") Jesus responded: "Woman, what do I have to do with you?" ( "What have you and I in common?" or "Why do you involve me?" John 2:4). His mother might have found this response to be 'difficult'. Jesus' brothers thought him difficult when he refused to go up to Jerusalem with them for the Feast of Tabernacles (John 7:1-9). Mary and Martha thought Jesus difficult when He did not come to their home in Bethany when their brother, and His close personal friend, Lazarus, was on his deathbed (John 11). Jesus had an impeccable sense of timing that others did not appreciate. When Jesus ministered to the multitudes, many thronged him and wanted Him to be their intimate friend. But He withdrew Himself choosing to give Himself predominantly to twelve hand-picked men, and an inner circle of three - Peter, James and John. Some found this 'difficult'. He marched to the beat of a different drummer, choosing to submit to His Father's strategy and timetable rather than those others would impose on him.

Jesus was perfect. We are not. He had good reasons for being difficult. Our reasons are of a darker sort. We have an inward bias to selfishness. We have peculiar unbending habits. The distinctives of our personality may be endearing to some, obnoxious to others.

Our spirits have been packed in the unfinished boxes of souls and bodies that make us difficult to handle. Many times people will find us abrasive, and they may even get hurt by a splinter or two. Some will rub up against our insecurities and imperfections and be hurt.

What can we do to be less difficult?

• REDIRECT OUR (PRE)OCCUPATION "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 2:3-5)
  This means we stop talking and listen to others, esteeming their portion as better than our own. Seek first the kingdom of God rather than the kingdom of self (Matthew 6:33).
• RECONDITION OUR RESPONSES: FORBEAR, FORGIVE AND FORGET "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (Colossians 3:13)
  There are situations and people who may irritate you that you cannot change. Choose to respond to these irritations differently. My wife and I have chosen to label those behaviors that we have not been able to change in each other during the past 24 years of marriage as being 'cute' whereas once they might have been labeled 'aggravating'.
  Let go of past disappointments and hurts.
• REDEFINE YOUR EXPECTATIONS Don't hold people in bondage to your predetermined expectations. Let people be as free as God created them to be. Adjust your expectations as your relationships grow to God-defined (rather than self-defined) reality.

God loves difficult people. How do I know? Because He loves me. And He loves you. If God loves difficult people, so must we. Let us learn from Him.