A missionary couple had been working in the Middle East when they noticed that a dove had settled under the eaves of their simple home. Because the dove is a symbol of the Holy Spirit in Scripture, they were pleased to have the gentle bird dwelling among them.

When Jesus was baptized by John at the river Jordan, the Holy Spirit descended upon Him in a bodily shape like a dove. A voice came from heaven, saying, "This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased" (Matthew 3:16, Luke 3:22, Mark 1:10). Perhaps they could take it as a seal of God's approval, a sign of the Spirit's blessing, or at least as a reminder of His presence.

They noticed, however, that whenever they slammed the door, shouted or had an argument, the sensitive dove would fly away. They soon realized that either the dove would have to adjust to them or they to the dove. It was clear that the only way they could be assured of the dove abiding with them would be a change of their lifestyle. They must be willing to change their ways. This decision transformed their ministry. They learned to resolve conflicts peacefully, close the door quietly and speak to each other gently and kindly.

Like the couple who courted the dove, we must learn to court the presence of the Holy Spirit and be careful not to grieve him with our sinful behavior. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:29-32).

Our words need to be selected especially for addressing the genuine needs of others: encouragement, inspiration, counsel, correction, warmth, affection, and most importantly for speaking the truth in love. The Scriptures list unwholesome uses of the tongue: gossip, whispering, or backbiting; the inappropriate passing on of fact or innuendo. It puts people in the position of passing judgment unfairly. Maligning and slander, the deliberate communication of false statements to injure a person's reputation, are tools of the devil. In fact the Greek word for devil, diabolos, means 'slanderer'.

Bitterness, anger, brawling and rage also grieve the Spirit. If we do not dismiss bitterness from our lives by releasing forgiveness and resolving conflicts, the manifestation of the Holy Spirit's presence will be dismissed from our lives.

Do our conversations give evidence that we really care for one another? Does the heavenly dove comfortably dwell under our roofs? Do we raise our voices, threaten, manipulate and control? Do we attract the heavenly dove or cause him to fly away?