"I saw three ships come sailing in," are the opening words of a traditional English Christmas Carol. A later verse discloses the writer's ignorance of Mid-Eastern geography when the holy family is pictured sailing into Bethlehem as if it were a seaport, "on Christmas Day in the morning." Perhaps the carol was authored by a maritimer wanting as significant a tie-in to the sacred story as the local shepherd!

I would like to take the liberty to use the image of three 'ships' not as a vehicle transporting the 'holy family', though my device may also prove applicable to that institution, but as one that defines the essentials of 'holy matrimony'. The three 'ships' that describe what marriage is in the sight of God are 1. A 'STEWARD' SHIP; 2. A 'PARTNER' SHIP and 3. A 'WOR'SHIP:

1. STEWARDSHIP. Marriage is something God has entrusted to the human race. For those who receive it, it is a gift for which we must give an account. According to the Bible, it is tied in with our being made in God's image, to reflect His nature as a community of oneness. In Genesis 1 God reveals Himself as both a plurality and a singularity. He refers to Himself in both plural and singular terms. For example in Genesis 1:26 we read, "Then God (Elohim- plural) said (singular verb form), 'Let US (plural) make (singular verb) man in OUR (plural) image, according to OUR (plural) likeness'....So God (plural) created (singular) man in his own image, in the image of God he created him (singular); male and female he created them (plural)." Humankind, as male and female, has a God-given capacity, and responsibility to mirror His likeness as a loving community of oneness.

The words that articulate God's self-revelation and immediately precedes His foundational commandment is the 'The Sh'ma' (Deuteronomy 6:4f) which declares that God is 'one', using the Hebrew word 'echad', meaning a 'composite oneness' rather than 'yachid' meaning 'a singularity.' "Hear O Israel, the Lord thy God is ONE (echad)." God is, in Himself, a community of oneness'; three distinct persons Father, Son and Holy Spirit who are one in essence. He has created us to mirror His likeness. This is especially true of marriage. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become ONE (echad) flesh."

Marriage is a God-given gift to be carefully stewarded. We are to receive our spouses as gifts from God, even at times when we are tempted to want to give them back. The focus of marriage is not whether or not he or she is right for us, but whether we are being 'right' for her by making the love of God credible to our spouse through our words and actions. "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." (Ephesians 5:25).

2. PARTNERSHIP. Marriage cannot be 50/50. It must be 100/100. It is a partnership. The Greek word that has been found on ancient papyri wedding certificates is 'koinonia'. It means joint-participation, fellowship or communion. Intimacy is the result of giving all that we are to another. Marriage mirrors the profound mystery of Christ and His church. Jesus has called His church to be His eternal partner. Throughout the ages we are to reign with Him as His forever companion and faithful bride.
3. WORSHIP. We get the English word 'worship' from the Old English 'worth-ship'. Marriage should illustrate that we give supreme worth to the God who created marriage. We are to use all of our gifts, our time, talents, and all our relationship for His glory (1Corinthians 10:31). God is spirit. He gave us spirits to worship Him. We are to present our bodies, as individuals, and as couples, representing our marriages, as living and holy sacrifices, acceptable to God. This is our spiritual service of worship (Romans 12:1). Statistics bear out this truth: The couples that pray together stay together.

Do you love your spouse as your own self? Do you receive your spouse as a gift from God? Do you make him/her feel good about themselves? Do you accept them as Christ does, instead of having plans to make them conform to your expectations? Can you tell them honestly what you really want instead of using manipulation or games? Do your actions show that you really care for them? Do you give your spouse the kind of love God says that they deserve? The kind of love that God says your spouse deserves is nothing short of His love. You don't have what it takes to love your spouse, apart from receiving and passing on the love that exists in the Godhead, the perfect community of oneness. He is the true love source. He invites us to come to Him and receive that essential love for ourselves and others.